The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
