You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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