he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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