Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
