I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
