They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
