so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
