you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize