I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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