i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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