laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
