I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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