I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
