she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I want her autograph on my taint
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
