this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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