Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
