After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
