New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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