So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
