Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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