Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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