our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
