you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
