you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
