So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
