Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
