DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I think your dad took our porno
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
