Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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