I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
