Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
