Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
