He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
