you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Randomize
