Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
