Do you still have your period?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
