why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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