hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
