I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
