I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
