well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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