If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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