We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
