Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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