so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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