Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Randomize
