wake up i wanna do it froggy style
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
