I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
