im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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