Screwed.edu
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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