How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
