I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Randomize
