just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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