Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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