soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
My feet surprised me
Randomize
