What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
