i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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