If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize