They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize