Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
