I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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