So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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