I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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