i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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