I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
